The Importance of Setting Healthy Boundaries

Establishing healthy boundaries has been increasingly discussed in the media in recent years. With so much content about it at our fingertips, it can still be challenging to really understand what this really means. It is true that it is a vital part of taking care of yourself and your needs, but boundaries have many different forms. They can look rigid (such as having few close relationships), or appear more open (such as a difficulty saying no to others). Boundaries may look different in varying settings (ex. work vs. personal life), and may depend on the cultural values and identities of the individual as well. There are also different types of boundaries, including physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, and financial. So, with all of these layers surrounding boundaries, what do healthy ones look like?

Healthy boundaries are important in making sure we get our needs met. They allow us to retain our identity, prevent others from taking advantage of us, promote healthy relationships, and empower us to strive for personal goals (Salerno, 2022). Ultimately, boundaries also promote a sense of autonomy in prioritizing our own well-being, and something that you shouldn’t feel guilty about as they are essential! Healthy boundaries are not about asserting control, but rather are an acknowledgment of your needs while keeping in mind the needs of others around you. Our internal wisdom, including emotional and physical reactions that arise, can be a good resource in knowing if a personal boundary is being tested or crossed. In beginning to reflect on your own experiences, what are some ways to create healthy boundaries and uphold existing ones?

Setting and Maintaining Good Boundaries

1. Reflect on the reasons for your boundaries: Why is it important to you? How will it benefit your well-being?

2. Start with a few boundaries: Build them up slowly at a pace that feels comfortable for you, reflect on what is/is not working.

3. Consider setting boundaries early on: Set expectations from the beginning.

4. Try to be consistent with your boundaries: This helps to clearly establish how your needs will be met, and reinforces your original thresholds and beliefs.

5. Carve out time for yourself: This can vary on the type of relationship, but having an hour or two to spend time alone can be a valuable form of self-care.

6. Don’t be afraid to include extra boundaries: Adding personal boundaries to preexisting ones, such as with work, may help enhance performance and make you feel more empowered!

7. Set healthy boundaries on social media: Boundaries that feel crossed in “real-life” are equally as valid digitally!

8. Communicate when your boundaries are crossed: These conversations do not need to look confrontational, but rather as a way to raise concerns you may have.

9. Practice self-love and engage in activities you enjoy: For boundaries to have a strong foundation, self-compassion and knowing your self-worth is important! Increasing activities that make you feel good will help shift your internal dialogue to one that feels more deserving.

10. Gain some perspective on your boundaries: Boundaries are important to our mental health, but overthinking about them could negatively impact our well-being as well. When in doubt, trust your gut instinct and own intuition!

References: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-set-boundaries/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries#10-tips

Stacy SheridanMay 31, 2023