Back to School & Procrasti-nation

"I Can't See You..." by tropical.pete is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

It’s that time of year again, when the stores start displaying their “Back to School” collections and it feels much too soon. Aren’t we just getting into the groove of summer? With all this sunshine and warm weather to enjoy, surely it’s not time to start thinking about the fall just yet. And yet, here we are. 

Whether our lives revolve around the academic calendar or not, surely we can all relate to the experience of wishing we could delay or postpone something on the horizon that seems to be approaching much too quickly. And sometimes we may be able to successfully avoid the impending experience, at least for a time, through all kinds of creative procrastination strategies. For instance, if the idea of finally sitting down to start on that paper that’s due tomorrow feels overwhelming, never fear - the mind is an expert at coming up with all kinds of other activities to focus on instead. 

There’s a fancy name for this phenomenon. It’s called “Experiential Avoidance,” or the avoidance of a certain internal experience (like anxiety or discomfort) that we would rather not feel. This is a wonderful, adaptive skill we possess as humans, and it can serve us very well… until it doesn’t. It sometimes comes at a great long term cost. As Russ Harris, a proponent of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (or ACT) puts it, “all too often when we try to avoid or get rid of unwanted private experiences, we simply create extra suffering for ourselves (Harris, 2006).” 

So what is our alternative? We can say it in one word: Acceptance. Harris defines acceptance as “making room for unpleasant feelings, sensations, urges, and other private experiences; allowing them to come and go without struggling with them, running from them, or giving them undue attention (Harris, 2006).” This may be easier said than done, but it’s still much easier than we might imagine. The basic idea is to lean into that internal experience of anxiety instead of trying to push it away or avoid it. (Note: “Accepting” anxiety doesn’t mean you have to like or want it. Rather, “it means you allow it to be there in order to do something you value” (Harris, 2006).) 

Anxiety, like all other feelings, is a natural part of any full, meaningful life. So if we accept its presence instead of expending so much energy trying to get rid of it, then it doesn’t have to get in the way of pursuing the things we truly care about. We can face up to it for what it is - an unpleasant mix of some familiar distressing thoughts and uncomfortable physical sensations - and simply take it with us on our continued journey of life. It’s remarkable how anxiety can actually get smaller once we stop struggling with it and just make a little space for it to exist. When we take the risk to feel a bit of discomfort or anxiety for the sake of a valued action, we connect to the source of our power and freedom, thereby becoming truly unstoppable. 

If you, like most people, struggle with experiential avoidance and would like help managing anxiety in more constructive ways for the sake of living out your values, our clinicians at Connections Counseling are available to help. You can reach us by phone at: 720-328-0569.

Reference

Harris, Russell. "Embracing your demons: An overview of acceptance and commitment therapy." Psychotherapy in Australia 12.4 (2006).

Image credit: "I Can't See You..." by tropical.pete is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0